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A Dream About Your Answer

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I woke up with a jolt
It was very clear what just had happened in my dreams
It felt real, I could tell the detail of it

I wondered why I always dreamt when I started to let something go
when I could embrace the hurt
when I sorted it out fine
and—- it attacked the wound once again

I believed it was an answer from God
of the uncertainty I pledge to figure the answer out
it was very real, that you said yes for the lies
and apologetic trembling voices, left me no cries


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Yesterday,I found a letter in Vye Park.
A brownish letter with the trace of soaked tears on it
It radiated with sorrow and disappointment
I couldn’t resist myself to read them…

“To: a smaller white- black arctic muse
To get rid of my feeling of you, do you know what things that I have done?
I talked to random strangers and did the worst thing by inviting them into my deep dark hole
I couldn’t let myself like you that bad, so I let my other wild side roar
I degraded myself.. down and down
just so I can like you less
and able to talk to you as a friend, not someone I want best

Just a few steps ahead I will make it..
but why you, the one that taught me about honesty, stabbed me cruelly
I could accept the reality if that what it took really
but why you, the one who taught me about maturity, ran away coldly
I just want to listen to your confession
and you answer my questions
than the end.
I will go with ease

Dear God,
It aches, it hurts and it starts to feel numb
This heart is Yours and to You this heart always belong
Save this sinful heart and let it heal”

I wiped my tears
and I tore the letter into pieces

Dear Women, It is Okay

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Dear women,
When things get harder, it is okay to cry
It is okay to feel weak and wrecked
It is okay to say, “I am a fucking mess!”

It is okay to be tough
It is okay to stand up and bounce back strongly
It is okay to say, “I” get over it quickly!”
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Lillac on the Hill

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Photo credit: Febi D.S
Photo credit: Febi D.S

A sweet-smelling beauty
Blooms prettily
Rising against the sun
Swaying between the wind

Stay away, sting!
Let the hyacinth and lillac win
As loves transcendence
In a haven, we put an end

When the sun set in a mesmerizing twilight,
the mighty Shadowfax crosses the haunted gate
Delves into the deep deep depth,
a wood that smells of death

His shadow pasts the Mediterranean
Crossing the mournful seas to the Balkan
To find the lillac on the hill